Ep. 221 - Sass Schaeffer: Who Are You Now?

What happens when the life you’ve spent years building suddenly no longer fits the person you’ve become?

For identity coach Sass Schaeffer, that question isn’t theoretical. Her own journey through major professional and personal upheaval forced her to confront something deeper than how to rebuild her circumstances: she had to reconsider who she was.

In this episode of Stories from Real Life, Sass joins Melvin E. Edwards for an intimate conversation about identity, loss, reinvention, and the strange territory between the person you once were and the person you’re becoming.

They explore why major transitions—career changes, divorce, empty nesting, retirement, loss, and unexpected disruption—can shake our sense of identity even when everything looks fine from the outside. Sass also challenges one of the most common ideas surrounding difficult transitions: that the goal should always be to “get back to yourself.”

What if the person you’re trying to recover isn’t the person you’re meant to be anymore?

Melvin and Sass discuss the difference between losing yourself and outgrowing yourself, the role fear can play in our desire for control, the grief that can accompany leaving an old identity behind, and how we begin discovering what we actually want after years of living according to roles, responsibilities, and expectations.

In this conversation:

• How Sass’s own life disruptions changed her understanding of identity• Why rebuilding your circumstances isn’t necessarily the same as rebuilding yourself• The hidden identity crisis that can accompany major life transitions• Why “getting back to who I used to be” may be the wrong goal• How to recognize when you’ve outgrown an earlier version of yourself• The relationship between fear, control, and uncertainty• Separating what you genuinely want from what others expect of you• Why successful, accomplished people can still lose their sense of self• How small choices can help create a new identity• Finding possibility when life doesn’t unfold according to plan

At the heart of the conversation is a deceptively simple question:

Who are you when you remove your job title, your relationships, your possessions, and everything else you’ve used to explain yourself?

Perhaps starting over isn’t always about finding your way back.

Maybe you’re not lost. Maybe you’re becoming.

About Sass Schaeffer

Sass Schaeffer is a life identity coach who helps women navigate significant transitions and reconnect with who they are and what they want from the next chapter of their lives. Drawing from her own experiences with unexpected change and reinvention, her work focuses on identity, self-discovery, positivity, and creating a life that reflects who a person is becoming rather than simply who they have been.

@sass_schaeffer on Instagram

YouTube channel

About Stories from Real Life

Stories from Real Life is an interview podcast hosted by award-winning journalist, author, and publisher Melvin E. Edwards. Through thoughtful conversations with people whose lives have taken extraordinary, unexpected, or meaningful turns, the podcast explores the experiences that shape who we become.

Everybody has a story, and every story deserves to be told.

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